Still No Baby ...

It's Monday, December 5^th and still no baby. Evidently I've been feeding 'boy' too well over the last 9 months and he's quite happy staying put. Here's the update on what we know so far:

• He was due on November 30^th - so he's almost a week late
• I'm not progressing - no contractions, barely 1 cm dilated, etc.
• He's still a boy and still facing head down (which is good)
• Last week we had an ultrasound that estimated his weight at 9 lbs. 9 oz. - OUCH!

We'll be heading to the hospital on Wednesday (Dec. 7^th) morning to induce labor - 'boy' is going to get evicted whether he likes it or not. In the meantime, I'm taking days off from work to rest and relax. Here's what I looked like last week:

39 weeks - Monday, Nov. 28^th

Hopefully the next post will include pics of our new little boy!! Stay tuned...

Eating in Peace ...

I saw a story on the news this morning which really struck a nerve. A restaurant in the Chicago area - A Taste of Heaven - has placed a sign in their window stating that children must behave and use their inside voices when dining at their restaurant. When I heard this, only 1 thought crossed my mind - it's about time!

When I was a kid parents took responsibility for the actions of their children. If a child started to misbehave in public, the parent immediately took them outside and/or disciplined them. What happened to those kinds of parents? Now when you're in a restaurant or store, you'll see parents completely ignoring their kids as they run up and down the aisles screaming at the top of their lungs. I understand that kids get excited easily - especially when out in public - but when did parents just stop teaching their children how to behave appropriately?

And what makes this story even more entertaining, is that the parents that are boycotting this restaurant are acting just as bratty as their kids! (Yeah, I wonder where their kids get it from.) They feel that they are entitled to eat at these establishments simply because they can afford to. Are you kidding me? Just because you have the money to afford their service doesn't give you the right to act like an immature, disrespectful twit when you're out in public. What you do at home is your own business, but at least have enough respect for others when you leave the house to behave appropriately and make sure that your children know how to behave also. Have you no shame?

Taking One For The Team ...

It appears that 2 overzealous Carolina Panthers cheerleaders may have taken their celebration a little too far at a bar in Tampa Bay on Sunday. Even though they were not in town to perform at the game - they did give quite a 'performance' in the ladies room....which angered other female patrons who actually had to pee!

Now being from North Carolina there are 2 things that these women should have known about being a woman and using public bathrooms.

1. If you have to go fast and there's a long line - go to the men's room
   
2. If you're going to have sex with someone in said bathroom but you don't want people to complain - go to the men's room. And if you're having sex with your girlfriend, the men won't mind that either - they'll probably encourage you and give you their beer money to watch.

Since I've never been one to think that having sex in a public bathroom is a good idea to start with (you know how dirty those places are - YUCK!) - I guess I'm only guilty of #1. But I do have 2 words for these ladies - BAD REDNECKS!!

My Scary Brother and His Kids ...

So last night was Halloween and my brother and his 2 oldest kids went out for some trick-or-treating. His wife and the baby stayed home to give out candy to the little ghosts and goblins that visited their house. Here are the trick-or-treaters all ready to go - notice the pretty dress my brother is wearing - ha ha!!

From left to right - Chris (he's a medieval knight), Alexis (she's the cutest dragon you ever laid your eyes upon), and Kyle (I think he's supposed to be a Star Wars character, but I'm so out of touch that I don't know which one - yep, I'm getting old).

And for those with enquiring minds - DaveBrown and I just put a bowl of candy on our doorstep so the kids can take as much as they want and we don't have to rush to the door all night long. It's getting a lot harder for me to go up and down the stairs these days! Maybe next year I'll be able to get DB to dress up and take 'boy' out trick-or-treating - ha ha!

Whoa - is that really me ....

Tomorrow we'll be at Week 36 - only 4 more weeks until 'boy' arrives. I thought some of you might like to see how I'm progressing. Yes, this is really me and no, there aren't any pillows stuffed underneath my shirt:

I've officially gained 55 lbs., so I'm guessing I'll gain at least 60 by my due date of November 30th. And I've started an office pool so that my coworkers can guess my due date and time. It's only a few bucks to join and the person who guesses the closest wins the whole pot!

We've got the nursery 95% complete and have all the baby supplies that we 'think' we'll need - and probably a lot that we don't really need. We're hoping to take this last month to do some last minute stuff around the house that we've been wanting to get done for months now. And also, I'll probably be doing more napping - it seems to be a new weekend routine for me ... go to yoga, go to IHOP, go home and nap for 2-3 hours - ha ha! What a great routine, right?

Fairfax County Welcomes Drunk Drivers ...

So you had a few too many at happy hour.....so you swerved into a lane of oncoming traffic.....so you ran a red light and almost t-boned a van full of kids - no worries mate because in Fairfax County, Virginia your DWI case may get dismissed no matter what you blew on the breathalyzer test.

That's right. A 'maverick' general district court judge in my home county has started dismissing cases of DWI because he feels Virginia's DWI law unfairly deprived defendants of the presumption of innocence if breath tests showed that they had a blood alcohol content of .08 or higher, levels at which people are presumed to be intoxicated. He says that at this point the burden of proof is wrongly shifted from the prosecution to the defense. So you don't get to come into the court innocent until proven guilty - it's presumed you're guilty as soon as you blow more than a .08.

As much as I disagree with completely dismissing these cases - because you can't appeal a case that has lost at his court level - I must say that this judge does have a point. Our 5th Amendment states the following:

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Which means that you don't have to say or do anything in the course of a trial - including proving your innocence. The prosecution has to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you definitely did the crime. And a breathalyzer test is apparently not as accurate as some would like for you to believe. It is said that since the test may not be administered until over an hour after your traffic stop - that your blood alcohol level may have continued to rise - causing a false result. And blood tests are usually not administered on the scene either.

My $.02 - If an officer pulls you over on suspicion of drunken driving and you blow more than a .08 BAC and fail the field sobriety tests, then I think you should definitely get some sort of punishment. If you are going to put other people's lives in danger by getting behind the wheel when you are impaired, then you shouldn't be able to get behind the wheel for a while. Bottom line - call a cab, take a bus, have a sober driver, or do your drinking at home.

Oh and a funny little tidbit - the judge's name - Ian M. O'Flaherty. Imagine that - an irishman!

You Can't Control Me ....

or can you? According to an article I just read - A Remote Control That Controls Humans - it may be possible in the future. Evidently some Japanese scientists that work for a telephone company, have come up with a headset and remote control (like the ones for the rc cars) that will send a low voltage electric current through your brain that will affect your balance and cause you to move in certain directions to keep from falling down. The company says that they want to develop this technology further to enhance video games - but the author of the article foreshadows a much darker use...controlling military forces during times of war and conflict. Although I like the thought of using this against someone that is about to do something stupid - like rob a bank or blow themselves up. You could shoot some juice at them and cause them to run the other way.

Now, if you were my husband - you would have immediately thought of more practical uses.....like getting your wife to clean, cook and grab you beers during the game. Isn't he sweet? But ladies, if that was the case - then imagine all of the projects around the house and yard that could get done in a weekend.

Road Rage Advice ...

I know the traffic in DC is worse than most areas, but I'm sure some of you get road rage every now and then, right? Well instead of trying to keep one hand on the wheel while you finagle your pants past your butt to moon someone - you may want to try this Road Rage Flip Book. Just remember not to stop in case the person is crazy or has a handy gun rack.

Enjoy!

Baby News ...

It's October 12th and we have 7 more weeks until 'boy' is supposed to arrive. (We're calling him boy until we name him - and we're not naming him until we meet him.) You know what that means right? Time to scramble! This past weekend my best friend Leigh threw me and David a coed baby shower. That's right, I said coed - there were men there. It's not the 50's and it's not just MY baby - it's OUR baby. Plus we didn't want any girlie froo-froo shower - just a nice, small get-together for friends and family where everyone could socialize, eat, watch football and take part in some silliness if they so choose.

I must say that Leigh did an excellent job with the shower. She and Kyra pulled it together and I really don't think there was anything that they could have done better - the food was terrific, the activities were great and the relaxed atmosphere was absolutely perfect!! Take a look for yourself and see what a wonderful job they did and what a great time everyone had - Baby Shower Pictures.

The day after the shower was a federal holiday, so David and I didn't have to fight rush hour traffic - which was very nice. Instead we spent the day baby shopping - getting all the essentials that we think we'll need for boy's arrival. I must say that shopping for baby stuff takes a lot of willpower and self control. There are just too many cute clothes and toys! We got home late that afternoon and I made David start putting together the nursery immediately. Maybe I'm excited, maybe I'm nesting, or maybe I'm just anal - but I feel much better now that we have almost everything we think we'll need. Here's what we have so far - Nursery photos.

Also, my mom came down on Thursday and spent a long weekend with us for the shower. It was so great to have her around to do girlie things with and ask for her advice. I really had a wonderful time and wish that we lived closer to each other so that we could do it more often. You don't realize how great your mom is until you're about to have a child!

Nappy Dugout ...

The Washington Post ran an article today stating what most of us already know - teenagers have sex. The thing that caught my eye was that the article was emphasizing the increase in the amount of kids having oral sex. And here is the funniest part of the whole article - it's an actual quote -

Bill Albert, communications director for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, put the generational difference this way: "We used to talk about sex in terms of first base, second base and so on. Oral sex was maybe in the dugout."

I wonder if Mr. Albert realizes how funny this is?

I was pleased to read that this study also confirmed what many have known since the conservative groups have started pushing abstinence-only sex education - while these programs have successfully delayed young people in having intercourse, it has also led many of them to substitute other forms of sex which still leaves these kids at risk for gonorrhea, HIV, herpes and etc.

The study also revealed that oral sex is most common among white families in the higher-income brackets. Wonder what mommy and daddy will say when Muffy comes home with herpes or Chip tells them that it burns when he pees?

Wake up conservative Americans - when you only teach half the story - you only get half of the desired results.

When Pigs Fly ...

As part of my weekly routine, I tend to visit a local cafe for a scrumptious breakfast wrap. Today on my way there I was waiting at a crosswalk with a really tall cop and a few other pedestrians. On the other side of the street were a few folks as well. Well about 5 seconds before the walk sign appeared, one of the guys across the street just starts crossing. Normally, I wouldn't bat an eye at this but the cop scolded the man loudly - it was great! As I thought about it - I was quite impressed. So many pedestrians in this area think that they can just dart into traffic without harm. They cause accidents and some do get hit and killed - seriously, some drivers in the DC area do not slow down for ANYTHING! But rarely do you see or hear of someone getting a jaywalking ticket. Thanks to that cop for at least saying something.

As I was leaving the cafe with my breakfast wrap in hand, I was still pleased with the actions of the cop. Then, I noticed that just across the street another cop had parked in a well designated No Parking zone so he could run into the bagel shop for his breakfast. UGH! I quickly pulled out my camera phone to document this violation. As I get close to the cop car, he came out of the bagel shop and pulled off. I got a picture, but it's not a good one - when will camera phones be equipped with zoom? But I did get his car number and license plate number. I don't understand how police officers can expect citizens to respect and obey the laws when they don't. Lead by example. So the internal affairs department will be getting a complaint form complete with grainy camera phone picture. For those of you who've received a parking ticket - this is for you too!

Can't Teach An Old Cat New Tricks....

As some of you know, I have a cat - his name is Jake. Jake has been with me since I was in college. When I found him, he was a tiny kitten that fit in one hand and begged for food - now he fits in a wheelbarrow and will bite you for food. Seeing as he's 12 years old - we figure that he's grown into the 'grumpy old man' cat ... meaning that he's only nice to you when he's hungry and even then he can only feign the kindness for a short amount of time before biting your leg or scratching you.

I'll admit that his kittenhood wasn't an easy one - but he always had plenty of food and water and lots of privacy as I was a chronic bar patron. I was hoping that over the years we would mature together and have a mutual respect for each other. I was wrong. Jake is still just as vengeful as he was as a kitten. He picks on the dog (Jazz) when he wants to lay on her bed or just when he's feeling irritable. He craps on the floor when his litter box isn't clean enough or when you've pissed him off. He'll bite you when he's hungry and you aren't filling up his bowl fast enough. So here I thought I'd have a warm, loving, fuzzy companion for 20 years - and what do I get? A crotchety, old, self-absorbed cat that loves poopie revenge. And you know what? I wouldn't trade him for the world! I guess this is good training for having kids. You don't always get what you expected - and yet you would never give it up.

Announcing A New Addition

As some of you may know, my brother and his wife have also been expecting a little baby boy. Well at 4:39 am on Wednesday, August 17th, they welcomed James Clifford Barrow (JC) into the world. He was a healthy 7 lbs. 1 oz. and 19.5 inches long. Even though he was born a month early, you can't tell it by looking at him. He looks perfect! Take a look for yourself and see...

Kerry (mom), Alexis (big sis) and JC

As The Belly Grows...

Well, it's official - I've finally outgrown my first set of maternity clothes. When you go to buy maternity clothes they tell you to buy your regular pre-pregnancy size. This, my friends, is a myth! I bought my pre-prego size and a size larger in my first set of maternity clothes and guess what - I busted the button on one pair of pants and the slide clip on another. Even the panel pants were getting too tight just below the panel. I'm guessing that these maternity clothes manufacturers don't take into account that more than just your belly is growing.

My butt, hips, legs, boobs, arms, hands and feet are all bigger than they were before I got pregnant! How do I know this you ask? Well, not only am I testing the seams on these clothes - but David and I have a weekly pregnancy journal where we've been taking measurements and my weight to see how much I change each week. The latest measurements show that my butt grew an inch in the last week alone! Not that I mind getting a little more junk in my trunk because I needed some, but the rest can be a little discerning.

I am starting to get a little worried about how big I'm getting at this point. I've gained about 30 lbs, my belly is huge, my hands are too swollen to wear my wedding ring and my feet are starting to get tight in my work shoes. The worst part - I have 4 MORE MONTHS TO GO! I can't imagine what I'm going to look like by November - and if anything will fit me by then. See for yourself as we post weekly pics on our family website - http://barrowbrown.blogspot.com.

Luckily, I've been blessed with a great husband who is extremely patient with me and doesn't seem to mind my expansion. We spent all day Saturday shopping for new/bigger maternity clothes that will hopefully last through November. (Seriously, I've gone from buying smalls and mediums to mediums and larges - LARGE people, I've NEVER worn a large!) We also bought the boy's first outfits this weekend. 2 cute tiny overall sets and some bootie socks. We're really getting excited about having him around!

See, being pregnant doesn't take away your vanity ;)

The Redskins Bring Some Friends To Town....

The Washington Redskins had their training camp last week near Herndon, VA. Usually, I wouldn't give a flip about training camp, but since last year's it's been a great time for me to get to see some cool friends from NC. Amy Dail and her man Scotty started coming to training camp last year and I was able to hang out with them. Well, this year it was just as cool.

I headed to Herndon on Thursday night to have dinner with Amy and Scotty. It's so nice to see them. Amy looks just like she did in high school - perfect! They had spent the day watching the training camp and were a little hot and tired - so I caught up with them while they freshened up. Then we went across the hall to visit with their friends from Canada - also hardcore Redskins fans. They are a really nice couple that I got to meet last year. After chatting for a while, we headed out to get some dinner.

We went to a little restaurant called Pomodoro near the Dulles Town Center. It wasn't anything fancy and the food was really good. You could tell we were all pretty hungry though because there wasn't even idle chatter once the food came. All you heard was the sound of forkfuls of food being shoveled into the different gullets. It was great!

So to summarize the catching up we did - here's what's new:

• Scotty just finished his first house as a solo contractor/builder. It looks really nice to - check it out - http://www.century21.com/buy/property_detail.aspx?teasers=property-detail-pic+Property+Detail+with+Pictures&tr_key=31282868&bSite=N. It's on the market and waiting to be sold.
  
• Our old friends Rob and Stacy are getting married in September at Nags Head. I'm very happy for them. They don't like to keep in touch with me after a falling out in '97 - which is a shame because I miss them. I wish them nothing but the best and hope that one day we'll be better friends again.
  
• Amy's niece is 16 - she was born on my 16th birthday - and is already on her 2nd car. That's one way to get the car you want - total the first one - ha ha. And to our dismay, we think she's more into the boys than she should be - but it's not very surprising given that most girls that age in that area are doing the same thing.
  
• Amy is attending real estate classes and hopes to be selling homes soon! What a partnership for her and Scotty - he builds them, she sells them!

All in all is was great to see the whole gang. I wish the Redskins had training camps each month so I could get to see them more often.

Minor Celebrity Sighting...

David and I like to go to Krispy Kreme about once a week for a doughnut fix. We usually go on a Saturday or Sunday morning - and believe me, we're NEVER disappointed! Yummy!! Well last Saturday as we were leaving 'The Kreme ' - all full and happy - we saw James Carville getting into his Lexus LS430. He also had his 2 kids in the back seat. From this short sighting I devised a few things about Mr. Carville.

1. He's a good dad - who can argue with a dad that takes his kids to Krispy Kreme on a Saturday morning for breakfast? The man's got good taste in breakfast foods.
   
2. He doesn't mind his minor celebrity status - while getting into his car, Mr. Carville was approached by a few patrons in the parking lot that wanted to meet him. He was gracious and kind with each, smiling and waving while getting into his car. I was impressed that he was so cordial with his 'fans' all the while not forgetting about his kids in the back seat that were ready to leave.
   
3. He's got good taste in cars - the man drives a nice Lexus. Considering the LS starts out at almost $60k, it's nothing to sneeze at. As higher end sedans go, it looked sharp.

Now, Mr. Carville may be a little crazy when it comes to his political rantings and ravings - but the fact that he'll take his kids to The Kreme for breakfast pulls him up a small notch in my book.

Another thing that just pulled him up another small notch - he got Robert Novack to say bullshit on CNN and then storm off the set like a little bitch. And all by simply accusing the man of not having a backbone - that was classic. Doesn't feel so nice when someone is pushing your buttons does it Mr. Novack? Just imagine how Valerie Plame and Judith Miller feel. You get to keep acting like a pompous ass while they having to deal with the affects of your treasonous Newsweek article - nice job ass wipe!

On a funny note...

I was on the metro Sunday heading home from the district and noticed something quite ironic and funny. Imagine if you will - a lesbian wearing a t-shirt that reads:

'You Are What You Eat'

Seriously, it was funny to me and not in a condescending kind of way - just a weird sense of irony. I'm sure that lady had a great sense of humor - or maybe she was clueless. Either way, she brought a little sunshine into my day and I thank her!

Other shirts I find funny (some may be a bit rude, so there's your warning):

• Viva Aruba - http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=503
• I Support Single Moms - http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=330
• I'm What Willis Was Talking About - http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=202
• Support Your Local Bartender... - http://www.tshirtinsanity.com/shopexd.asp?id=37
• Racquetball, Where Blue Balls Are Fun - http://www.bustedtees.com/shirts/racquetball
• Sex, Do It For The Kids - http://www.bustedtees.com/shirts/sex
• South Korea's Got Seoul - http://www.bustedtees.com/shirts/southkorea
  
  Baby Shirts:
• Daddy Drinks Because I Cry - http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=201
• My IQ Is Higher Than The President's - http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=120

Invasion of the Boy Scouts...

I made a few trips into DC this past weekend. Friday night, we went to see the Nationals play the Astros. Our seats were great - thanks to my company spending money that could have been used for bonuses or raises - but alas, the Nats have fallen into a slump and were blown out. There was a whole section on the upper deck that was full of Boy Scouts though.

Sunday I headed to the new Native American museum to meet my friend Leigh for lunch and to catch up. Lunch was great and the museum is chocked full of info from lots of north and south american tribes. Might be a little much to consume in one day though. But the architecture of the building is really cool and the exhibits are very informative and interesting.

After touring around the museum, we sat outside beside a water feature and chatted. Well, apparently the Boy Scouts convention in DC this week decided to invade the museums on Sunday as well. A small UNSUPERVISED group of them sat beside us and started harassing the ducks that were swimming around. They were throwing pennies at the ducks who thought the kids had bread for them to eat. So Leigh yelled at them to stop. Of course, they didn't. So when they started up again, Leigh threw some water on them and yelled at them to stop again. (note - the proper response would have been to call the Park Police and let them know that there were some unsupervised kids at the museum causing problems - that way maybe their troop leader would have gotten in trouble) So, the kids finally stopped and eventually wandered off to another museum.

Then on my way back to the Metro station to head home, I was waiting at one of the larger intersections to cross the street. Well, another UNSUPERVISED group of Boy Scouts walked up beside me. 2 of them thought they would be smart butts and ran into the street with oncoming traffic. They were very lucky that it was a luxury car or they would be roadkill at this point. So I yelled at them that there was a reason that we have the crosswalk signs in the area. It really burns me up that their adult troop leaders would allow 12-14 yr old boys to run wild in a major city - not to mention a major city that is on an elevated alert level! These kids were disrespectful to the animals, authority and couldn't follow basic safety rules - therefore disgracing their BSA organization.

So, guess who's wrote a letter to the BSA on Monday. That's right - ME! I mean really - what if one of these kids got hurt while unsupervised? What if one of them was kidnapped? Or what if they hurt someone/something else (probably unintentionally - but still)? The affected parties would have every right to sue the BSA, and the way people are today - you know they would.

I placed the letter in the mail Monday afternoon at the Post Office, feeling quite confident that I was doing a service to their organization. Well, wouldn't you know it - that night on the news they reported that 4 scout leaders had been killed by electrocution while putting up a tent at their Jamboree site at Fort AP Hill in VA. So now my letter will go completely unnoticed. Don't get me wrong - I feel really bad for these guys and their families - especially the guy with twin boys who saw it happen - ouch! But honestly, if these folks are scout leaders - shouldn't they be more aware of their surroundings than to be putting up tents with tall metal poles so close to power lines? Didn't they 'scout' that location before deciding it was a good spot for a party tent?

I can tell you this - I seriously doubt Baby Brown will be joining the Boy Scouts. At least not until they get their act together. I mean really - if they would allow homosexual scout leaders, those kids wouldn't be sleeping outside anyway. They'd be in a resort hotel learning the finer things in life like the differences between a facial peel and a pedicure ;)

No really, I'm eating for 2 ...

I've been amazed at how much food I can stuff into my gullet lately. It's like I'm in training to be a sumo wrestler. I think I've officially reached the point where I'm eating more than David. And he's a good eater! Let's hope this is just a growth spurt phase and I won't be 200 lbs by November or end up having a 20 lb kid - whoa!

I've already gained over 20 lbs and we've just reached the halfway point in the pregnancy. Yeah, I know - I started out on the low end...probably needing to put on a few pounds, but I'd rather they be muscle than fat. (that's right, I'm that vain) Don't get me wrong - I'm thoroughly enjoying eating! I don't have any specific cravings to speak of except for my classic comfort foods - which include southern cooking, italian cooking, anything grilled and just about any type of dessert!

I now get it when others are telling me to enjoy this part of the pregnancy. When else could I actually eat a huge plate of food, along with dessert, and not feel guilty or get any funny looks from David? It's for the baby, right?

And just to ease any physical fitness minds, I'm still going to the gym 4-5 times a week. I'm getting 30 minutes on the treadmill, then lifting weights and then stretching. So, I'm not over exerting myself - but I'm doing enough to keep fit. They say it helps with the delivery and recovery - and they BETTER be right (whoever they are)!

Ok, time to hit the feeding trough again....stay tuned for more boring details.

It's a ....

We had our first ultrasound on Thursday, July 7th. You've got to despise a test where you need to drink 32 ounces of water and you can't go to the bathroom until it's over. Do they really think that rubbing that cold goo and mouse thingy over your full bladder feels nice? It makes me wonder if any of these technicians have been peed upon by some poor mom-to-be. Maybe just the mean ones - ha ha!

Anyway, here's what we found out - http://barrowbrown.blogspot.com/2005/07/yep-its-baby.html

And if you'd like to see a pic of how big I'm getting - check this out:

Me at 18 weeks. No, I didn't fix my hair just for the picture ;)

Getting The House Ready...

Sorry I haven't posted anything in the past few weeks, we've been busy making some improvements around the house.

• We bought a new Indian rug - http://www.flickr.com/photos/clearlynuts/sets/475268/show/
  
• We started decorating the guest room - http://www.flickr.com/photos/clearlynuts/sets/535406/show/
  
• And we took some time out to hang out with some family - http://www.flickr.com/photos/clearlynuts/sets/536978/show/

It's been pretty hectic along with shopping for baby stuff and house stuff. We really want to get the house in order before November so that we can focus on taking care of the baby. David started cleaning the deck last weekend and we're hoping to get it restained this week - if it'll stop raining!

For those of you near us - we're having a little BBQ this weekend at the house. It's on Saturday (July 9th) around 4 or 5 and it's nothing fancy. Just burgers, dogs, chicken, and the fixins. We haven't had people over in months and want to be more sociable while we can. So feel free to stop by and enjoy some of Chef Boyar-david's grilled meats! They are yummy!! No, you do not need to bring anything - this isn't a special occasion and we have everything under control....just bring your wonderful selves and park in a spot marked VISITOR, in the circle or along the street of Park Village Drive. If you have any questions, just call or email. Hope you all can make it and tropical storm Cindy will be long gone!

Tybee Island, GA - A Redneck Oasis

I recently went on vacation with my best friend from Snow Hill - Michelle. We planned this trip at the beginning of the year, so when I found out I was pregnant - it didn't deter our plans. We drove down to Tybee Island, GA - which is just outside of Savannah and just south of Hilton Head, SC. Even though it was the first weekend in June, we were looking forward to some warm weather, cool ocean breezes and the good southern food!

I drove down to NC on Wednesday and spent the night with Michelle, so that the drive for me wouldn't be 12-13 hours. Thursday morning we awoke early, got showered, packed the car, ate breakfast at Bojangles and were on the road. We made a short pit stop at Michelle's grandmother's house which was on the way to the interstate. Her grandmother is so sweet and her grandfather is very funny, so it's always nice to get to see them.

The trip down was beautiful through NC - although I didn't realize there were so many I-95 strip clubs, but it makes sense I suppose. Once we hit SC, the clouds started moving in. We hit a few bad thunderstorms and even heard a tornado warning on the radio - which kind of freaked us both out. But Michelle drove straight through them like a pro and we stopped at a truck stop for a late lunch. After downing some deadly Taco Bell, we headed back out. We noticed that while we were at the truck stop they have these tiny orange bugs that had jumped a ride and were trying to bite us. Needless to say - we didn't make anymore stops in SC - they've got bugs!

We got to drive through Savannah on our way to Tybee Island which was very nice. I just love the moss in the trees. The next thing I know, we're driving across this road to the beach that's barely above sea level. I imagine it gets rained out a lot - you'd think they'd do something.

We were a bit disappointed with the hotel. Their website makes it sound like a lush resort - but it was more like your typical spring break hotel. There was even a Yager label stuck to one of the pictures in our room - Party On Dude. Anyway, we had a great time and the food was AWESOME - especially at Uncle Bubba's Oyster House!! We relaxed, got sunburned and did some shopping between the many meals that I made Michelle eat with me. The ride back wasn't as exciting except for our stop at Pedro's for ice cream and a few candid snapshots. We'll try to make this an annual trip - since we could both use a regular vacation - but I don't think we'll go to the same place each time. Next year it's Michelle's turn to choose where we go - and I know she'll pick somewhere nice!

I've posted some pics of our vacation for those of you interested. Enjoy! (Oh, for those of you scratching your head - Yes, I was sticking my belly out in that one side shot - hee hee! And the pic of the guy walking into the Crab Shack restaurant was to show off his fabulous hairdo - it was like a mohawk that had slipped to the back of his head - ha ha!)

Who'd A Thunk It?

Well, David and I have some big news that we're ready to share. We're pregnant. Our due date is November 30th. We decided that last year would be our last full year to spend completely spoiling ourselves and being selfish. That starting this year we would try to start a family - and after a few months of trying, we achieved success. I wish I had some romantic story about how the 'magic happened' while we were on vacation in the Turks and Caicos - but my runny nose and hacking cough was less than a turn on.

We've started a new blog site for anyone interested in how things are progressing with the new family. If you're brave, or just nosy, check it out - http://barrowbrown.blogspot.com. David has been authoring most of it so far - and he can be quite amusing - so it's a funny read.

Also, since my belly is already starting to pooch out - I'm on the lookout for a t-shirt that reads something like 'Don't Touch The Belly'. I'm not looking forward to strangers wanting to rub my tummy - so if anyone sees such a shirt, please let me know! I mean really, I don't go up to strangers and rub their bellies - it's rude and a bit disgusting! Oh, I'm also not looking forward to the unsolicited horror stories of pregnancy or child rearing - so please keep those to yourself. I'd like that part to be a surprise. ;)

Just wanted to share the good news - we'll be 14 weeks along tomorrow and all is going well so far. Oh and by the way - we got married today. Hope you had a nice Memorial Day weekend!

Long Time No Hear....Sorry!

Sorry that it's been over a month since my last post....I'll try to do better. Things have been a bit busy for us recently. With the warmer weather we have been working hard on home improvements and enjoying being outdoors for more than 5 minutes. Here's what's been going on (I'll post pictures at a later date):

The Yard
Our goal is to have as little grass as possible in our townhouse front and back yards. So, we dug up a nice section of grass and planted a new flower bed in the back yard beside our patio. We now have snapdragons, freesia, sedums, golden euonymus and gardenia bushes to admire and enjoy their sweet scents. They are young plants and if they make it - hopefully they will grow in nicely. We just need to find a few stepping stones to add in the bed and it will be complete.

On the other side of the yard, still next to the patio, we have our vegetable garden. Our veggie garden is on it's 3rd year and hopefully this will be the best! We have planted cucumbers, tomatoes, bell peppers, cantaloupe and watermelon. I LOVE fresh fruits and veggies - especially tomatoes - and they all appear to be hanging in there with the crazy cool and rainy weather we've been having recently.

Our back yard has a lower level toward the back, and we have also added some plantings here recently. We had 2 rose bushes that were gifts from my mom on the right hand side of the yard. Behind those, in the middle, we planted a clematis vine with a trellis. On the left hand side of the yard we planted a japanese maple tree - which are slow growers and have beautiful red leaves.

The House
We also had a little work done to the house. For those of you that have seen the house, you should remember the periwinkle door and shutters - ugh! We had some painters out for routine repainting of the trim on the outside of the house and had them repaint the door and shutters a nice charcoal grey. It looks so much better!

We also had some overhead lighting put in the spare bedrooms upstairs and in the den in the entryway. These rooms had switches that were connected to wall plugs and while lamps are pretty - they just don't cut it over overhead lighting. I must say that the recessed lighting in the den looks wonderful! It's a major improvement!!

The Family
We've also been trying to spend more time visiting with our families. Since David's parents and my brother's families live in the area, it's really no excuse for us not to see them more often. And we were lucky enough to have my mother come up for Mother's Day so we got to spend some nice quality time with her as well.

Today is my mom's birthday - so if you know her, send her an email or ecard wishing her a happy one. She deserves it! (If you need her email address, just email me and I'll send it to you.)

As you know this upcoming weekend is the first major holiday weekend of the summer. So there will be plenty of cookouts and parties for all to attend - us included. Wishing you all a safe a happy weekend - may the weather be nice wherever you are!!

No More Eating In Front Of The TV - Darn!

I guess it's inevitable that DB and I are growing up and will eventually consider ourselves adults. So back in February, we finally went out and bought a nice set of dining room furniture. The furniture was delivered a few weeks ago and to our surprise - it was too much/too big to fit in our dining room area. So, we did some rearranging of dining room and living room furniture, and now have a place where we can eat that's not coffee table level or in front of a TV. (Although we still like to eat in front of the TV on occasion.)

Here are more pics of the new furniture:

http://flickr.com/photos/clearlynuts/sets/226906/show/

The first few pics are when we tried to put it all in the dining room. Which would be ok, if we and our friends and family were all stick thin anorexics. So the last few pics shows the new arrangement and how we can now use our fabulous new furniture.

Sometimes People Are Just Funny...

On my way to work this morning, I saw something that really amused me. I wish I had a photo, but alas my words will have to do. I hope this tickles the irony in your funny bone as well.

I pulled up at a stoplight behind a white buick century. The car's license plate read - Eat Pork. The irony hit when I realized that the driver was quite overweight. Was she advertising for a local restaurant? Is this her way of picking up men? The questions are now endless...

February 7, 2005 - A Day I Will Remember Forever

Front row - Odetta, Della Reese, Maya Angelou. Back row - bunch of people I just met and on the end - me!

My Brush With Greatness...

As some of you may know, I was lucky enough to have been extended an invitation to the GWSAE Speaker Series back in February. This session, entitled - A Wealth of Wisdom: Legendary African American Elders Speak - was to feature Ruby Dee, Ossie Davis, Odetta and Della Reese. Unfortunately, Ossie Davis passed away just days before. But once he started to take a turn for the worse, he and his wife Ruby Dee made a call to their good friend Maya Angelou and asked her to fill in for them. Being the gracious woman that she is, she accepted warmly.

Let me back up for just a minute....I received a mass email from a company that my employer works with that included the invitation to the event. There were only 10 tickets available and I was one of the first 10 to respond to this email. I had been to their speaker series last year where I got to hear Goldie Hawn (who's from the DC area) speak and thoroughly enjoyed it. A few days before the event I received a call from the president of the company extending the invite. Evidently they had a ton of requests to go, and since I had been to one last year - would I give up my ticket for someone who hasn't attended a speaker series event. So, of course, I said sure. I heard Maya speak at my college in the mid-90s, and felt that if someone hasn't heard her speak yet, then they definitely should get a chance. The president then offered me a ticket to another event - but I told her that those should really go to people who haven't been, but thank you for the offer. I was a little disappointed, but knew that I shouldn't be greedy - no matter how bad I wanted to!

I thought little of it until the day of the event - February 7, 2005. I received a phone call from the president again who informed me that one of the attendees had to cancel and would I like her ticket. I asked her shouldn't she offer the ticket to someone else who hasn't been - but she said that she was impressed with my graciousness in giving up the ticket the first time and that I really should have it. So I quit being nice and said YEAH! I made a mad dash home at lunch to put on a business suit and get some face paint - so I wouldn't look like my normal messy self.

When I arrived at the Kennedy Center, Ms. Della Reese was also arriving. Even though I think furs are disgusting and would never own one - she looked quite elegant in hers. So, I met with my group...we ate a nice dinner that's part of the package and then headed in to find our seats. Our seats were located 5 rows from the stage - so close I could have spit on them....but I didn't.

Everyone sat in awe as the women wobbled feebly onstage - I guess you don't realize just how old they are until you see them walking with canes or in a wheelchair. Although their bodies are old and weak, their minds and wits are as sharp as ever. It was very entertaining to see them laughing and joking with each other as they discussed the many struggles they faced as entertainers in the time of such prevalent racism and segregation.

After they spoke, we stood in line to get a group picture with the ladies - the one posted above. They were all so generous and kind and seemed to enjoy the fact that people are so fascinated with them. After the photo session, we were led upstairs to a coffee and desert reception. To my surprise, this also included a chance to actually get to speak with the ladies and to whip out my camera phone and take some candids with them. Della has obviously never seen a camera phone but the others were unphased.

They were all very nice and stayed until almost everyone had gone home. It was quite an evening. Never thought I would get such an opportunity - not without shelling out some major $$. I guess there's only one word that could sum this all up - WOW!

Candids of Great Ladies

These were taken with my cell phone - so they aren't very good quality. But you can make out who they are, so no whining!

Della & Me (taken by me and my short arms)



Della & Odetta - keepin' us all in stitches



Maya & Me (taken by an amateur)



Odetta - famous folk singer



Maya Angelou from afar

Our Romantic Vacation...Phase 5 - The Trip Home

By Wednesday my head cold was dwindling and I didn't have to force down more medicine. Of course at this point, we were also looking at the end of our vacation. So we decided to do as much relaxing as possible!

We lucked up and got a the last set of beach chairs with an umbrella. Which turned out to be not so lucky within 30 minutes when all the clouds rolled in - this was 11am. But nevertheless - we were determined to relax and enjoy doing nothing.

A little light reading and I started to get thirsty. So, I sent my cabana boy (DaveBrown) to get us some fruity drinks. While he was gone a big white crane walked directly behind my beach chair, so I got a picture. Either they have bad eyes or are very used to tourists. There was a family of Euros a few umbrellas down that all had on their speedos. The 2 oldest children - yep, they had 4 kids - were so intrigued with the crane that they chased it away. I kind of wished that the crane had now been an angry duck or swan. You know, the kind that will chase you and try to bite and spit on you. Yeah, that would have been fun to watch - if it were to chase the parents that weren't watching the kids. Oh well.

After an afternoon of laying on the beach we decided that we needed to make reservations for dinner. We've done Caribbean, Italian, and American - so tonight we're going to Coco Bistro - the French restaurant. And why not - if it weren't for the French we'd be bowing to the queen, listening to crappy music like the Spice Girls and saying things such as "that bloke is the dog's bollocks".

Coco Bistro was a great restaurant and a great way to spend our last night on vacation. They have tables set in a small coconut grove in the back patio of the restaurant. The food was very good - very tasty.

Evidently there was a group of folks from Texas there for business. They sat just 2 tables away from us but it felt like they were much closer. They were out for a night on the town though. One of the ladies had even gotten herself all dolled up in her rhinestone jean jacket. Fancy! Boss Hog (or the leader of their group) was insistent that they get a picture of the group with the owner as he greeted the tables. And apparently he has an employee named Jim that takes direction like a man on a road trip. For 10 minutes, we weren't able to hear our own conversations because Jim wouldn't stop kissing the restaurant owners butt and get into position for a picture. All we heard was (in a deep southern accent that sounded sweet to me) - Jim....Jim....Jim, turn around so we can take a picture....Jim....Jim, turn around and smile.

After a nice meal and some light southern entertainment - we headed back to the resort and enjoyed another good night's sleep. We woke up early the next morning, to be sure that we had plenty of time to pack, check out and turn in our rental car. Some people (DaveBrown) don't like the excitement of cutting it close.

We got our bags packed and in the car. Checked out and said goodbye to the wonderful and friendly staff at the resort. Even left them a few postcards to mail - haven't heard if they've reached anyone yet though. Then we headed to the airport to sit and wait. We ate lunch there and surprisingly, it didn't make us sick. It was pretty good for airport food, much better than the snacks they give you on the plane - YUCK! We were 2-3 hours early so we settled into the pleather waiting area seats. Luckily there was a group of 6 British kids that kept me entertained while we waited.

I swear at least 4-5 of them were high on crystal meth or coke because they couldn't sit down for more than a minute. They spent a lot of time in the duty free airport store checking out the jewelry and booze. What I did notice about them was that they all appeared to be in their early to mid 20s. Not sure if they have rich parents or how they got the money to spend their holiday (vacation) in the Turks. They all appeared to have eaten well also. They definitely had gotten better tans than me and DaveBrown. I was jealous - especially since my only tan consisted of small sections on my calves and a small portion on the back of just one of my arms. How'd they do it?

The flight back was pretty uneventful. Another layover in Charlotte - don't fall for the airport BBQ though. Not so good - but they do have a Krispy Kreme. We got back into DC Thursday night and at this point, I was wishing I was back in the Turks. It was cold and dark. Immediately I started planning in my head our next vacation. It'll definitely be somewhere warm again. Maybe another Caribbean island. I really have my eyes on Antigua and Anguilla ... Now if I can just get my finances together....oh well.

Our Romantic Vacation...The Pictures

We've posted pictures of our vacation. If you'd like to check them out, go here - http://www.flickr.com/photos/clearlynuts/sets/130603/

For those of you that don't know...the cute cabana boy bringing me drinks on the beach is DaveBrown. He's awesome!!

Our Romantic Vacation...Phase 4 - The Spa and More Shopping

We got quite lucky with the weather on Monday (Valentine's Day) so we spent the whole day laying on the beach drinking fruity drinks. It was warm and sunny and just what I had pictured our vacation to be. We lathered up in some sunscreen, put on our iPOD and mp3 players and enjoyed the day.

Little did I know that all my chair dancing was going to end up in such an interesting tan. Evidently there were a few parts of me that I managed to wipe off my sunscreen. My convulsive gyrating wore away at the spf on my calves, a small strip on the back of just one of my arms and a tiny circle on one of my elbows. Each of these spots were bright pink by nightfall. They are now nice and brown. Thank goodness it's too cold for anyone to see them around here. Hopefully they'll fade soon.

We had such a good time laying on the beach Monday that we ended up having a late lunch at a local marina. The Banana Boat restaurant was located directly behind 2 parked yachts...Impetuous (the smaller one) and Impulse (the big daddy). We thought that the owner of the big daddy yacht might be the owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Malcolm Glazer, but it was just some rich guy in a Bucs sweatshirt. This boat was amazing though. They even had a 4 person crew - 2 men to do the grunt work and 2 women, a chef and maid. Now that's a cruise I could see myself going on....one with a much smaller risk of catching the Norwalk virus, a crew and no kids.

We skipped dinner that night and ended up having drinks on the beach again. It was a beautiful night to just sit and enjoy. Tuesday we got up and did a little more shopping. We went to the opposite end of the island to a new shopping center and had lunch. It was a little open air Italian restaurant and it was very good. After stuffing our faces on some pasta and pizza, we decided to try to walk off a little in the shops. There were only 5 stores because the center was new though - and they didn't really carry the cheesy tourist stuff that we wanted. The center did have a gym though and we were amused by the bus load of tourists that were dumped for a workout, only to find that the 24 hour a day/7 day a week gym was closed - ha ha! Who exercises on vacation anyway? I guess they could get a workout walking back to their resort.

We rode down to another shopping center and found the cheesy tourist trap stores that we desired. The prices were still quite high - but we ended up getting a t-shirt for each of us and a new pair of sunglasses for me. You'll see my new superstar sunglasses in the vacation pictures. I know - it's like I go from plain jane to hollywood starlet in mere seconds - ha ha. At this point we needed to head back to the hotel so we could get ready for our massages.

That's right! We aren't going to stay at a nice resort without getting a massage. We got a couples massage - which basically means that they have 2 tables set up in the room and you get dueling massages from 2 spa workers at the same time. I'm not sure about DaveBrown's massager, by my lady had on bright orange flip-flops with a huge flower on them. As much as I don't like feet, I was happy to see that hers had undergone a pedicure.

She also liked to use her whole arm - which is a good thing - when giving a massage. Elbows can really get those knots in my neck. She was so good that she made my nose start running (or maybe the Dayquil was pretending to be my sunscreen and wearing off). She even took care not to laugh at or irritate my sunburned calves - which must have looked quite funny at the time because they still do. I love it when they don't forget the head massage at the end. It's so relaxing. For those of you that haven't had a professional massage - and I don't just mean some horny person trying to get you naked - you should indulge yourself. It's great. Just make sure to tell them if they are using too much or not enough pressure.

After the massages we sat on the balcony and watched the ocean. Our favorite waiter from the Beach Cafe even noted how relaxed we looked. His name is Minor. I heard it pronounced many different ways while we were there (Minor, Mee-nor, Manure). We just called him - excuse me. 'Excuse me, could we have another round of drinks please?' He was very nice and made a mean rum and coke! You know I liked that!!

For dinner we decided to try a neighboring resort's restaurant called Simba. It was within walking distance so we strolled down the beach to get there. That was nice because it was a clear night and you could see all the stars. Living near DC doesn't allow you to see many stars even on clear nights. There's a layer of haze at the horizon and around each star that struggles to shine through.

Simba was a really good restaurant as well. I had tempura shrimp and they were placed as a tower on top of a pile of rice and surrounded by a delicious tropical fruit sauce. DaveBrown had a steak that was piled high with mushrooms. The food was delicious. They even served a between course of homemade mango sorbet. The only part of this that I didn't really like was when they sat some struggling model and her hairdresser at the table next to us. I guess I've been out of NC so long that I'm not used to eating dinner while inhaling someone's secondhand smoke. It's quite annoying to non-smokers.

With full bellies, we waddled back down the beach to our resort. Another good meal to keep us resting peacefully through the night.

Stay tuned for the FINAL Phase of our vacation story - Phase 5 - The Trip Home...

Our Romantic Vacation...Phase 3 - The Resort and the Island Food

So, we made it to our resort with only slight emotional scars. Now we just need to check in and we can start relaxing. We walked around the resort for 10 minutes and couldn't find the registration desk. We finally asked one of the workers and off we all went on a wild goose chase to find the infamous Hugh. Hugh will know what to do.

Nope, he's not in what appears to be a closet. He's not on the beach. He's not in the resort convenience store. Hmmm, we're perplexed. The worker pointed us in the direction of an office to see if someone was in there. Luckily there was - but it wasn't Hugh. He was actually a nice guy that used to live in the trendy DC neighborhood of Adams Morgan for a while and his parents were from Alexandria. Thank goodness, we found someone that can understand our accent.

After a brief conversation with the expatriate, we were put in the faithful hands of Hugh. We found out that we weren't crazy or geographically challenged as the resort doesn't have a registration desk. They do in-room registrations so you can get a tour of the resort and the room's amenities. Nice touch - even though our room wasn't one of the fancy suites....it was just a bedroom and a bathroom.

Once we had signed the appropriate documents and freshened up, we decided it was time to feed the beast that was making all that noise in my belly. Evidently all the orange juice and Dayquil wasn't doing the trick. The resort has 2 restaurants - a Beach Cafe that's open for breakfast, lunch and dinner and Coyaba which is the islands best restaurant and only open for dinner.

We headed to the Beach Cafe since it was only 4 and we needed a quick meal. We feasted on fantastic sandwiches and enjoyed the view of the crystal clear waters. This was the first of many delicious meals on the island. There was only 1 meal that was less than extraordinary during our stay and it was still quite satisfying. After the meal, we headed back to the room to rest and unpack. We tried to make reservations at Coyaba for Valentine's Day dinner, but they were already full - so we took the night before. What's one day, right?

Later we headed back to the Beach Cafe for a few drinks to officially start the celebration of our vacation. I was hoping that an easy night would help my head cold and allow the romantic portion of our vacation to begin on Sunday. So after a few drinks we headed back to the room where I downed some Nyquil and some Halls and quickly proceeded to fall deeply asleep.

Sunday started with me waking up coughing and hocking up loogies. It was quite the romantic awakening for DaveBrown. We spent the day touring the island and doing a little shopping. In hindsight, Sunday probably isn't the best day to go shopping. It appears that the stores in Provo open and close at their own discretion regardless of day of the week or hour of the day. We ended up picking up some snacks from the only grocery store on the island - the IGA. Yep, this chain is evidently still in business. For those of you from Snow Hill, the IGA there recently went bankrupt. They still owe some of their employees a few paychecks too. Who knew?

We also got to see our first suped up car. It was your average four door car but with 22s! There's a pic included with the rest of our vacation pictures.

So once we unloaded the groceries, we put on our swimsuits and headed to the beach to enjoy the last few hours of sunlight. When we arrived it was cloudy and windy. We stayed out there, but were wrapped up in our towels while reading. Maybe we just picked a bad day.

Sunday night we got all cleaned up and put on our fancy dinnerwear and headed to Coyaba. Wow. This restaurant isn't big but it's a really cute open-air place with excellent service. The meal was fantastic! It was four-star quality food with a presentation that you'd want to photograph. Even though it was the night before Valentine's Day - it was very special...and also, very expensive. Since the restaurant isn't connected directly to the hotel, we couldn't charge our meal to our room - which wasn't a problem. This, however, was our first introduction into the inflated prices of dining on the island. Considering that there is no agriculture here, it's not hard to comprehend the prices though.

After dinner we went back to our room to relax and let our stomachs enjoy the wonderful meal that we just presented to them. It was a wonderful day topped off with a great meal. We slept well.

Stay tuned for Phase 4 - The Spa and More Shopping...

Our Romantic Vacation...Phase 2 - Customs and Driving Around the Island

Landing on Providenciales (Provo), TCI is just like landing on any other Caribbean island. Out one window you see the beautiful clear waters and out the other window you see the impoverished country side. But most importantly, you can't wait to get your feet on the ground and your butt in the warm, calm waters. The problem here lies in getting through TCI customs and actually finding your resort.

Our plane was the 2nd in a line of 4 planes that were landing back-to-back in Provo. Normally that wouldn't pose a problem, but considering that all of these people have to go through a rather small customs area means a long wait in a non-air conditioned airport in the tropics. And to make matters worse, our flight crew didn't give us one of the forms that we needed, although they did tell us before we left the plane.

So as we enter the customs area I staked out a 'prime' spot at the back of one of the 5 long lines while DaveBrown got our remaining forms. And lucky us - guess who got in line directly behind us....the drunk redneck couple from NC. We were sandwiched between 2 dysfunctional families for an hour while we waited to get through customs. It was classic.

The family in front of us consisted of a man, woman and 2 daughters from upstate New York. They were actually a pretty nice family with fairly well behaved kids. The dad however was less than impressive. The poor mom was forced to parent the 2 girls and move all but 1 bag up each time the line moved. The daughters spent the first half hour learning about the islands at the make-shift museum located on 1/2 a wall in the airport. The second half hour they helped their mom with the bags - which were probably mostly theirs since they were Disney Princess bags. The dad was so useless that when they finally got up to the customs agent - he completely forgot one of their bags and DaveBrown had to yell at him to come get it.

Now for the rednecks. After downing close to a 12 pack on the 2 hour flight, they both were full of piss and a fine pilsner buzz. They took turns hitting the head as soon as they got in line - which was very smart. After about 15 minutes of waiting in line the man started bitching. For the remainder of time we waited in line their conversation went something like this....

Man-'I've got to pee. How long do you think we've got to wait in this here line?' Woman-'Well, go pee then! I don't know how long the wait is! Who do I look like - a timekeeper?'
Man-'Well I need to go pee bad.'
Woman-'Well, go then. But if I get through customs without you, you'll have to go to the back of the line and wait even longer!'
Man-'(Grumble, grumble) I guess I'll wait then.'
Woman-'If you got to go then go!'
(5 minutes later)
Man-'Man, I got to go pee something awful. How long do we have to wait in this here line?'
Woman-'Well go pee then! Damn! You've been bitching ever since we got on the plane this mornin'! You are ruining my vacation!'
Man-'(Grumble, grumble)'
(And repeat this conversation, for an hour)

It was as if my crazy grandmother was in line right behind me - drunk, belligerent and blaming others. Just like home....

Once we made it through customs, we picked up our rental car. It was actually an upgrade from the euro mini car that we were supposed to get, so that was a plus. This plus however was quickly replaced with a few minuses....like no map and no road signs. When we asked the rental car guy for directions to our resort he was like...you jus leave de airport and it's on de beach road. Huh? Luckily the island is only 38 miles and we had a full tank of gas. We snagged a map from a magazine that we got on the plane, so that helped.

Before we left the airport we witnessed a fender bender that stopped all traffic for a good 15 minutes. Cops came out of nowhere and were quickly followed by middle aged local men who had to put in their 2 cents. Once that was cleared up, we were on our way to try to find our resort - on a map with no road names, in a country with no road signs.

The Turks and Caicos islands are ruled by the British, so they drive on the wrong side of the road and have pictures of the queen in their gov't buildings. DaveBrown did an excellent job adapting to driving on the left hand side of the road - but the numerous pot holes were a bit tricky. The main road wasn't bad - not even the round abouts - but the pot holes were all over the side roads like mine fields. And they weren't like our pot holes here. They were deep - like someone was digging a hole to China in each one. And they seemed to form in groups. Also, there are no lines on the roads there and they are quite narrow - so you're going to hit more than your share of these while driving around. Whiplash must be the national malady.

After getting slightly lost and turning around in someone's front yard, we finally found our resort. It was the oasis at the end of a long day's journey. Lush tropical flowers and plants surrounding stucco buildings and the sound of the calm waters. Now, where's the reg desk so we can check in and relax?

Stay tuned for Phase 3 - The Resort and the Island Food...

Our Romantic Vacation....Phase 1 - Getting There

So, for Valentine's Day this year I decided to make things easy on DaveBrown and suggested that we take a romantic tropical vacation as our gift to each other. After a little research on some Caribbean islands that we have yet to visit we decided to go to Antigua. But since we are both lazy procrastinators, by the time we went to make the reservations, the resort was sold out.....so we did some more looking and decided on visiting the Turks and Caicos Islands. When we found out that the Providenciales island has one of the best beaches in the world, we picked a resort there called Coral Gardens. It was set, we were to depart on Sat. Feb. 12 and return on Thurs. Feb. 17.

So just before we left, I started feeling a little under the weather. With the pressure to finish several work projects, laundry, boarding the animals and packing - my poor little body fell prey to a head cold. I should have known then, that the romantic vacation that I had envisioned wasn't going to live up to my high expectations. We overslept an hour for our 7am flight - but luckily made it to the airport in time. While waiting to board the plane, my romantic runny nose started - along with the ever seductive hocking up of the loogies. DaveBrown wasn't going to be able to resist me! Our flight to Charlotte was uneventful, I got a much needed nap. We had a 2 hour layover in Charlotte - and this wasn't bad. They even have a line of rocking chairs lined up in the main area of the terminal for relaxing and listening to a person playing a baby grand piano. We searched for a pair of Carolina Panthers shorts to replace the ones that I have somehow grown out of - but were unlucky.

The flight from Charlotte to Providenciales (Provo) was twice as long as the first leg and was twice as entertaining. We were lucky enough to be seated across the aisle from a local NC redneck couple who probably won some rock radio station contest. They were in their late 40s - early 50s complete with bad hair, NASCAR gear and their own 6-pack of Natty Light. They cracked them open as soon as we were in the air and even ran out and had to buy a few beers from the flight attendants. The gentleman spent most of the flight hiding under his coat - he even got hit with the refreshment cart and didn't budge - not that's a real beer drinker. They were such a classy couple that I noticed the woman using her finger as a utensil when finishing the airline snack of spreadable cheese - which wasn't even as good as Easy Cheese.

Another aspect of this flight that made it so entertaining was that it was chocked full of kids. For those that don't know, the Turks and Caicos islands are not very commercial and can be quite expensive - so we weren't prepared for the onslaught of kids that we encountered at the airport gate. It appeared that some lucky couple was getting married and had invited evey relative that had spit out at least 2 kids. There is a Beaches resort on Provo - which is extremely kid friendly - so my guess is that this was their destination.

While listening to some music and reading at the aiport gate in Charlotte, the trail of kids started arriving. First it was the family who insisted on sitting in the seats directly behind us - you know the ones that are connected at the seatbacks. It wouldn't have been so bad, but the kids were running around like savages and their mom was less than graceful when sitting. It was as if someone was pushing her into the seat with all their force each time she returned from chasing her kids. It was knocking me and DaveBrown all around, so we found new seats. This time, we decided to sit in the seats that were connected to ones that had a wedding dress laid across them. No one would dare move or sit on someone's wedding dress - so we were safe. Then, Batman arrived.

Ok, it wasn't Val Kilmer or even Michael Keaton, it was a 6 yr. old in a Batman t-shirt and he was more super-sissy material than super-hero. He started off fine playing with the other kids in the area. But when they started boarding the plane, he immediately turned on his super-cry-baby powers. He was whining 'Nooooooo, I don't want to' and laying on the floor. His parents appeared to have lost total control at this point. I understand not wanting to make a scene in the airport - but really, can't you do a little more to control your kid? (said the woman without any kids - ha ha!) His dad went over and tried to reason with Batman, but he wasn't having it. He even started crying - loudly. The funny part was that his kid brother was very well behaved and sitting nicely by their mother. Luckily we were able to board the plane before Batman, so we didn't have to endure too much of his super repelling powers. And even better - on the flight, Batman slept.

The funniest part of the flight had to be when we were preparing to land in Provo. The flight attendants were coming around collecting trash and reminding folks to put their seats and trays upright. Well, redneck man pulled a classic move by handing the flight attendant an empty Natty Light can - they don't sell Natty Light on these flights. He immediately got a mini-inquisition about where he got that Natural Light beer. When he refused to answer he was told - Don't you EVER bring any alcohol on a flight again. Do you understand me? I said, do you understand me? I swear - it was like my mother was scolding him and I was pointing and laughing in delight....Priceless.

So, we landed without anyone being taken to jail - although I must admit, that DaveBrown was hoping they would teach the redneck couple a lesson. I however, realize that this is just the mentality of many people that I grew up with - and it wasn't too long ago that I would have done the same thing....except for give my trash to the flight attendant. Just a taste of home that almost makes me homesick.

Stay tuned for Phase 2 - Customs and the Resort....

Tribute To Uncle Sonny

My great uncle Sonny, 74, passed away last week after a long battle with lung cancer or emphysema or some smoking related illness. He was the older brother of my crazy grandma - whom many of you have heard about. Although I didn't spend much time with him - he lived in California - I do have a few fond and entertaining memories. So in tribute to my great uncle, I would like to share one of the more vibrant memories with you....

It was the summer of '83 and my brother and I had been shipped to Baton Rouge, LA to stay with my crazy grandmother, Mimi, for 2 weeks. Obviously my parents were in desperate need of refuge from our constant sibling rivalry, otherwise they would never have allowed us to stay with Mimi for that long. Luckily our cousin, who is only 3 years older than me and 1 year older than my brother, lived with Mimi so we had someone to play with. The first week there was pretty normal for us. We played in their new neighborhood in the wet heat of the day and were enthralled with Mimi's alcohol infused stories and games at night. The second week was when we were fortunate enough to be bestowed with a visit from my great uncle Sonny.

He drove up to the house in a heavy duty, American made pick-up pulling his bright reflective house on wheels. He had driven for 3 days from California, with only 4 hours of sleep in his Airstream. I remember thinking how blindingly bright he was with his head of thick white hair in front of his gigantic mirror of a camper. It makes my eyes hurt just thinking about it.

In celebration of his arrival, Mimi had my cousin (MaryBeth) boil 2 pounds of shrimp. Since my brother doesn't eat any seafood and I had never seen any that wasn't battered and fried, we both imbibed on frozen french fries for dinner. We were in heaven.

The night was filled with wild stories of Mimi and Sonny's childhood. They loved to tell the story of how Sonny was pushed or fell out of a 2 story window of their home as a baby. He claims that their older sister Mildred threw him out, but no one really knows what happened. He sustained some bruises and a few scratches - but basically bounced safely, as noted in the local Memphis paper. After many stories, and too many drinks for Mimi and Sonny, we were all corralled into bed for the night.

When we awoke the next morning it was as if the house was empty. Mimi had gone to work - and as usual, she had left a long list of chores for Sonny to complete during his visit. No visit with Mimi is free. As we kids were making bowls of cereal for breakfast, in comes Uncle Sonny from the garage. He was sweating and swearing and heading straight for the fridge. Evidently he'd been up for hours. The storage room in the garage needed shelves and that was his first and most grueling chore of the day.

I remember the sweat dripping from his head as he opened the fridge. MaryBeth was sure to get scolded for this if she didn't clean it up before Mimi came home - she was the favorite scapegoat for all that went wrong. He reached his tan, tattooed, gray haired arm in the fridge and pulled out the largest beer that I had ever seen. This was to be my first introduction to the Tall Boy.

He popped the top on his first budweiser of the day at 8 am with a smile, as if it were such beautiful music that he wanted to savor every note. The demanding Louisiana humidity of the summer was already weighing a heavy burden on his task at hand and he needed our help. I guess he thought that he could wear out a 10, 12 and 13 yr. old - boy was he wrong.

My brother was to help him build the shelves, I was to clean and MaryBeth was to cook lunch and provide drinks. We had our jobs and went about them dutifully. My brother helped cut and nail shelves that were 4 feet and lower while Uncle Sonny handled the top half. I basically swept up sawdust and tossed scraps of wood in the trash can. We took frequent breaks because of the high heat and humidity.

Uncle Sonny was getting frustrated that we were losing so much time cooling off, so he asked MaryBeth how they get things done outdoors in the summer there. Well, she didn't really have much of an idea, but an idea popped in her head that seemed like the perfect solution. She proposed that we wet a wash cloth and put it in the freezer to keep cool. Then she would bring it out to each of us every 15 minutes to use to wipe our faces and cool off. Brilliant, or so we thought!

So for the rest of the afternoon we went on like worker bees. Uncle Sonny kept drinking tall boys until we finally got the shelves in the storage room complete. By this time, Mimi was coming home from her job - and to inspect our day's work. Thankfully it was to her liking. But when she found the wash cloth in the freezer she lost it. Evidently we had used a 'good' wash cloth and now it was ruined - which I highly doubt, but it didn't matter once Mimi got upset. And of course, MaryBeth was punished for choosing the wrong wash cloth. Why buy a wash cloth if you aren't going to use it? I mean, really!

That evening was spent much like the first, talking and watching Mimi and Uncle Sonny drink. We kids went into my cousins room and played games for a while. Around 10, Mimi bellowed for MaryBeth to come to the living room. So of course, we all went. Apparently the tall boys had finally caught up with our giant of an uncle and he was passed out on the couch. MaryBeth and I were put in charge of getting him to his bedroom and in the bed. I remember that we both got under an arm and led his staggering body to the guest room. He grunted and grumbled the whole way there - while we were talking loudly to him as if he were hard of hearing and not drunk. 'We're putting you to bed Uncle Sonny.'

After a bit of a struggle getting his shoes off, we finally had him laid out on the top of his bed. This is the time that he chose to gain partial consciousness. His grunts and grumbles turned into 'Where am I?' and 'Am I in Guatemala?'. When he finally recognized MaryBeth, he realized he was in Louisiana at his sister's house.

For reasons unknown to me - other than he was still butt wasted - he decided that he needed to do something nice for his sister. He started badgering MaryBeth about buying a v-ah-ze (yes, that's his drunk pronunciation of vase) of roses for Mimi for being so nice to him. Being the clever girl that she was, she immediately asked where his wallet was. I think that may have sobered him up a little more. He grabbed her arm with force and told her not to worry about that. She needed to make sure that he got Mimi a v-ah-ze of beautiful roses. Other attempts to get his wallet were thwarted as he continued belligerently talking of buying roses. We finally gave up and left him to sleep off his day of tall boys.

The next morning we woke up to find Uncle Sonny working on the rest of the list of chores - and a new supply of the tall boys that had mysteriously appeared in the fridge.

He may not have been around much, but when he was - you remembered it. He was the invincible uncle that had lived such an exciting life - going to war, working on the home phones of Richard Nixon, living as a gigolo on the beaches of California and more. His last days, however, were not glamorous. He was on continuous oxygen and had given up drinking. Cigarettes were the mistress that he never turned his back on - even while hooked to an oxygen tank.

Here's to you Uncle Sonny! May you rest in peace. Thanks for the memories and for giving my grandmother hell when she needed it!