To the kids born before the 80s ...

You're not as cool as you think you are! Recently I received one of those emails making fun of how parents today make more of an effort to protect their children from accidents and illness. You know the one that makes you feel like you're better/stronger/smarter than the kids today because you didn't have the luxury of car seats and immunizations. While this email may make you feel good about your parents and possibly your own parenting, there are a few things that this email has overlooked. I'd like to point them out to you now (it's a bit long, so please take a seat):

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
If your mother smoked and/or drank while she was pregnant with you - then you were most likely born at a lower birth weight, have respiratory problems, and/or learning disabilities. It's her fault you're stupid/asthmatic/prone to illness.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
We also had more cases of polio, hepatitis, rubella and other diseases for which we now have vaccines.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
If your crib was painted with lead based paint - you probably sucked a bit off when you were teething. No it didn't kill you, but it did kill some much needed brain cells.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
Since childproofing wasn't popular - there were more accidental poisonings and more cases of kids fingers getting caught in drawers and such. You probably have a few more scars because of such accidents also. I know I have more than I should.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
I remember riding in cars and trucks with no seat belts. I also remember the kid next to me in my mom's car flying forward and cracking her windshield with his head because she stopped short. Women drivers!
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
There was also the time I saw my friend Bo, who was riding in the back of his dad's pickup when they were hit by another car, go flying into the street. Luckily he only ended up with some bruises and scratches.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
Looking back on this, I can only imagine how many dogs and cats peed on that hose before I put my mouth to it - YUCK!
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
Even as a child, I didn't share a drink with any kid with cold sores. Yes, you won't die from a cold sore, but do you really want herpes of the mouth?
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because...... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We just learned bad eating habits for when we got older and more sedentary.
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We also lived in neighborhoods where everyone talked to each other and you knew who to avoid. But today we have more reported child abuse and abductions - so much more that they've created Amber & Adam Alerts along with Oprah's Most Wanted Child Molesters.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We never built a go-cart, just rode bikes and skateboards. But I can remember running stop signs at the bottom of a big hill that wasn't a very smart move; especially the time I got hit by a motorcycle while riding my bike.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We had Pong and an Intellivision in my house and we finally got cable and a vcr when I was in high school. But we still had friends that we played with often because the games just weren't as cool as they are now.
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
But we have scars, arthritis and falsies that we might not have received if we had played on a playground with a soft base to fall on. Personally, I fell from a 10 ft. slide as a 3 yr. old and busted my chin open. I had to get 10 stitches and still have an ugly scar from it today.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
I didn't eat worms or mud pies - but I do remember making a mud pie at around 3 or 4. My mom's cooking may not have been the best, but it was definitely better than worms or mud pies. I do remember eating a penny once - don't remember pooping it out though. And I did take a taste of cat food when I was 6 - it wasn't as great as the cat made it seem. Oh, and I also ate watermelon seeds as a kid and didn't have a watermelon vine growing in my stomach.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
Now this one really brings me back. My brother had a BB gun. He used it to hunt squirrels and birds with my dad. He also used it to shoot me in the chest when I wouldn't move out of his way and he shot the neighbor kid in the eye just to prove that he had good aim. The day he used my father's rifle to shoot the grocery store sign - while people were shopping - was the day that my parents finally realized having guns in the house was not a good idea and removed them.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
This was nice because it forced us to get some exercise to see if our friends were home and available to play. It also gave my mom some much needed respite from our constant bickering in the house. Although I'm sure my neighbors didn't appreciate the kids yelling outside to see if Tommy could come out to play.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
Personally, I like this one too and wish they still did this. I understand that you want your kid to be praised for his or her effort in said sport/activity. But kids also need to learn that you don't always win or get what you want. In the real world, people have to deal with losing and rejection on a daily basis. Kids need to have the proper coping skills introduced to them at a young age or they will continue to act like babies well into adulthood. I'm sure you know a few adults like this. Someone smart once said to me - Life is about disappointment....oh yeah, it was my husband.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
But now, with the help of video cameras, we can truly see that not all law enforcers are upstanding citizens of our society. We know that we may need to question authority when they take their power to levels not intended by our laws. This is the American way - well, it was before W took office (UGH). And really, all this did was create mistrust and resentment of one's parents - is that anyway to have a healthy relationship with your child...not to trust what they tell you?
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
We've also produced some of the worst criminal minds ever - think Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Kaczynski (the Unabomber), Dick Cheney, and the many factory/postal workers who lose it every year and start shooting up their coworkers.
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!
That's right folks - the cynic is back. Did you miss me?

Mr. Sam

I know you want to see how handsome he is, so here's a recent pic:

Ain't he the cutest baby you've ever seen? (the correct answer here is YES)

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's Back to Work I Go ...

Well, I officially started back to work on March 6 and I must say - it's not as bad as I thought. I picked a week when all of our execs were in Vegas at our national convention to make my debut - that was the best decision I've made in a while! I got to wear jeans and tennis shoes all week - and my workload was relatively light. This week they are all back, so I'm getting loaded up again - but I'm glad I had the first week to catch up on emails and such before the onslaught of mediocre tasks began.

Here is a list of a few things that I DON'T miss about being back at work:

• Rush Hour Traffic - it still sucks the big one and the roads are still full of idiots that can't drive. If I'm not being cut-off, some fool will have an accident causing major backups and delays that will double my commute time.
• The Wind Tunnel - my office is in a trio of buildings that create a magnificent wind tunnel effect. This is quite nice on a steamy hot summer day. But when it's 40 degrees and precipitating, it's a pain in the arse. Yesterday I was literally being pushed by the wind. You'd think the extra 30 lbs. I'm caring around would have me more grounded - this wind is very strong.
• Idiot Bosses - my direct supervisor is cool. We trade jabs about our favorite college basketball teams (I like Duke, he likes Maryland - poor guy). But there are other bosses in my office that are complete idiots. You know the ones that give you the most asinine tasks to do and then 2 weeks/months later completely forgets and asks for them again. Or the ones that ask you to research something and then doesn't believe you when you tell them what you found - so they ask one of the office men! And my all-time favorite -- when they ask you for a report that they desperately need (which takes you days to complete) and then they just use it as refuse. UGH!

But it's not all bad. Sam is doing really well in daycare - they LOVE him....but that's probably due to a combination of him being adorable, sweet and the new baby in class. It freaked me out a little until I asked another daycare mommy and she reassured me that they do this with all the kids - especially the new babies that are as cute as Sam.

And I'm really enjoying having some time to do something other than mommy-stuff. It's nice to be able to finish something I started and to get down to the gym to try to work off the rest of these baby lbs. It also makes me really enjoy the nights and weekends with Mr. Sam. I'm not so anxious to pass him off to his daddy now that my time with him has decreased.