Tribute To Uncle Sonny

My great uncle Sonny, 74, passed away last week after a long battle with lung cancer or emphysema or some smoking related illness. He was the older brother of my crazy grandma - whom many of you have heard about. Although I didn't spend much time with him - he lived in California - I do have a few fond and entertaining memories. So in tribute to my great uncle, I would like to share one of the more vibrant memories with you....

It was the summer of '83 and my brother and I had been shipped to Baton Rouge, LA to stay with my crazy grandmother, Mimi, for 2 weeks. Obviously my parents were in desperate need of refuge from our constant sibling rivalry, otherwise they would never have allowed us to stay with Mimi for that long. Luckily our cousin, who is only 3 years older than me and 1 year older than my brother, lived with Mimi so we had someone to play with. The first week there was pretty normal for us. We played in their new neighborhood in the wet heat of the day and were enthralled with Mimi's alcohol infused stories and games at night. The second week was when we were fortunate enough to be bestowed with a visit from my great uncle Sonny.

He drove up to the house in a heavy duty, American made pick-up pulling his bright reflective house on wheels. He had driven for 3 days from California, with only 4 hours of sleep in his Airstream. I remember thinking how blindingly bright he was with his head of thick white hair in front of his gigantic mirror of a camper. It makes my eyes hurt just thinking about it.

In celebration of his arrival, Mimi had my cousin (MaryBeth) boil 2 pounds of shrimp. Since my brother doesn't eat any seafood and I had never seen any that wasn't battered and fried, we both imbibed on frozen french fries for dinner. We were in heaven.

The night was filled with wild stories of Mimi and Sonny's childhood. They loved to tell the story of how Sonny was pushed or fell out of a 2 story window of their home as a baby. He claims that their older sister Mildred threw him out, but no one really knows what happened. He sustained some bruises and a few scratches - but basically bounced safely, as noted in the local Memphis paper. After many stories, and too many drinks for Mimi and Sonny, we were all corralled into bed for the night.

When we awoke the next morning it was as if the house was empty. Mimi had gone to work - and as usual, she had left a long list of chores for Sonny to complete during his visit. No visit with Mimi is free. As we kids were making bowls of cereal for breakfast, in comes Uncle Sonny from the garage. He was sweating and swearing and heading straight for the fridge. Evidently he'd been up for hours. The storage room in the garage needed shelves and that was his first and most grueling chore of the day.

I remember the sweat dripping from his head as he opened the fridge. MaryBeth was sure to get scolded for this if she didn't clean it up before Mimi came home - she was the favorite scapegoat for all that went wrong. He reached his tan, tattooed, gray haired arm in the fridge and pulled out the largest beer that I had ever seen. This was to be my first introduction to the Tall Boy.

He popped the top on his first budweiser of the day at 8 am with a smile, as if it were such beautiful music that he wanted to savor every note. The demanding Louisiana humidity of the summer was already weighing a heavy burden on his task at hand and he needed our help. I guess he thought that he could wear out a 10, 12 and 13 yr. old - boy was he wrong.

My brother was to help him build the shelves, I was to clean and MaryBeth was to cook lunch and provide drinks. We had our jobs and went about them dutifully. My brother helped cut and nail shelves that were 4 feet and lower while Uncle Sonny handled the top half. I basically swept up sawdust and tossed scraps of wood in the trash can. We took frequent breaks because of the high heat and humidity.

Uncle Sonny was getting frustrated that we were losing so much time cooling off, so he asked MaryBeth how they get things done outdoors in the summer there. Well, she didn't really have much of an idea, but an idea popped in her head that seemed like the perfect solution. She proposed that we wet a wash cloth and put it in the freezer to keep cool. Then she would bring it out to each of us every 15 minutes to use to wipe our faces and cool off. Brilliant, or so we thought!

So for the rest of the afternoon we went on like worker bees. Uncle Sonny kept drinking tall boys until we finally got the shelves in the storage room complete. By this time, Mimi was coming home from her job - and to inspect our day's work. Thankfully it was to her liking. But when she found the wash cloth in the freezer she lost it. Evidently we had used a 'good' wash cloth and now it was ruined - which I highly doubt, but it didn't matter once Mimi got upset. And of course, MaryBeth was punished for choosing the wrong wash cloth. Why buy a wash cloth if you aren't going to use it? I mean, really!

That evening was spent much like the first, talking and watching Mimi and Uncle Sonny drink. We kids went into my cousins room and played games for a while. Around 10, Mimi bellowed for MaryBeth to come to the living room. So of course, we all went. Apparently the tall boys had finally caught up with our giant of an uncle and he was passed out on the couch. MaryBeth and I were put in charge of getting him to his bedroom and in the bed. I remember that we both got under an arm and led his staggering body to the guest room. He grunted and grumbled the whole way there - while we were talking loudly to him as if he were hard of hearing and not drunk. 'We're putting you to bed Uncle Sonny.'

After a bit of a struggle getting his shoes off, we finally had him laid out on the top of his bed. This is the time that he chose to gain partial consciousness. His grunts and grumbles turned into 'Where am I?' and 'Am I in Guatemala?'. When he finally recognized MaryBeth, he realized he was in Louisiana at his sister's house.

For reasons unknown to me - other than he was still butt wasted - he decided that he needed to do something nice for his sister. He started badgering MaryBeth about buying a v-ah-ze (yes, that's his drunk pronunciation of vase) of roses for Mimi for being so nice to him. Being the clever girl that she was, she immediately asked where his wallet was. I think that may have sobered him up a little more. He grabbed her arm with force and told her not to worry about that. She needed to make sure that he got Mimi a v-ah-ze of beautiful roses. Other attempts to get his wallet were thwarted as he continued belligerently talking of buying roses. We finally gave up and left him to sleep off his day of tall boys.

The next morning we woke up to find Uncle Sonny working on the rest of the list of chores - and a new supply of the tall boys that had mysteriously appeared in the fridge.

He may not have been around much, but when he was - you remembered it. He was the invincible uncle that had lived such an exciting life - going to war, working on the home phones of Richard Nixon, living as a gigolo on the beaches of California and more. His last days, however, were not glamorous. He was on continuous oxygen and had given up drinking. Cigarettes were the mistress that he never turned his back on - even while hooked to an oxygen tank.

Here's to you Uncle Sonny! May you rest in peace. Thanks for the memories and for giving my grandmother hell when she needed it!

4th Annual 29th Birthday Celebration!

I know my birthday isn't until Tuesday, but I had planned my celebrating early this year. (Did I mention that I don't like surprises? I was also born without a lot of patience...or either it is slipping away with each passing year.) Since my brother's birthday was the 20th, we decided to get together for a family thing and do lunch on Saturday. Thank goodness for Red, Hot and Blue. It's one of the few places that everyone in my picky-eating family likes. And for the real fun, a great local band played in Arlington on Saturday night. Well, the stinkin' snow storm ruined all my party plans! Or maybe it just gave me an excuse to be lazy and sit at home? Either way, the 4th Annual 29th Birthday Celebration has been postponed.

On a fun snow note - Jazz (my puppy) and I had a great time playing in the snow this weekend. She absolutlely loves it. As soon as she gets outside, she immediately sticks her nose in the snow and starts eating. It's like a food frenzy because she's also got to pee pretty bad so she can't stand still. Once she's relieved herself, then comes her imitation of the local deer. She starts prancing and boucing around like walking isn't an option in snow - only jumping through it. And then she just wants to play. So she's on the hunt for a stick to play fetch with....but of course, she's greedy (not sure who she gets that from?). So she comes back to me hauling a huge ass tree limb from the woods behind our house. Which is cute because it's much bigger than she is but there's no way that I could throw it. So I try to ignore her but she's much too persistent for that (again, where does she get that from I wonder?). As I'm walking away, she comes up behind me dragging this monstrosity and knocks me in the back of the legs - almost bringing me down! Yeah, it's funny and I laugh and tell her to drop it and we continue on...or so I think. She kept trying to knock me down - clothes lining my legs with her 'stick'. She's a funny bitch.

Although my weekend birthday plans didn't go well, the previous week wasn't too bad. On Thursday, not only did I have the day off from work - because a pompous, self-serving blowhard from Texas feels the need to spend money from the DC Homeland Security budget for a parade, numerous luncheons and dinners, countless balls and to provide security during his boring speech full of values and ideas that he'll never live up to - I got to have a few laughs watching Mr. Dave Attell do his comedy thang at the Improv with a few friends. I was really impressed with the guy that opened for him. I think his name is Sean something, but he was hilarious. The most pleasant surprise of the night, however was the restaurant where we ate before the show. It's a cuban restaurant called Yucca and it was delicious. For the DCers, it's in midtown and is definitely a great place for a nice mid-priced meal. I also had Monday off, so working 3 days last week was great!

Well, it's the start of another cold week in DC. No more snow in the forecast though - thank goodness. It took some folks 3-4 hours to get home on Wednesday....silly DC drivers - ha ha! Oh, I read an article today about how this is the Most Depressing Day of the Year....check it out if you're bored....or depressed.

Also, on a sad note, my great uncle Sonny died this past week after a long battle with lung cancer. Stay tuned for my Tribute To Uncle Sonny.

Martin Luther King, Jr. - What a guy!

You've got to love a man who fights for equality through peaceful protests and in turn gets you a free day off from work! Nevermind that he cheated on his wife and wasn't as christian or reverend-like as many would have you believe. Most 'heroes' aren't worthy of the height of the pedestals that we place them upon.

So, what's new in my world you ask? Well, not too much. DB and I finalized plans for a Valentine's Day vacation to the Turks and Caicos islands in the caribbean. We'll be heading to Provo for 5 days of basking in the sun and sucking down fruity drinks. Now THAT'S a vacation!! Needless to say, I have a limited amount of time to get rid of my holiday over-indulgences and get into bikini shape. But thanks to my wonderful boyfriend - who didn't make me wait until my birthday - I now have extra motivation for the gym with my new iPOD mini. YEAH! It's cute - and you all know how I like things that are cute. This is just another step towards getting in touch with my inner nerd.

I was also lucky enough this week to visit with a few friends that I haven't seen in a while. Saturday night I went out to eat with Jannie, Guillermo and Miss Frannie. Wow - I can't believe that Miss Frannie is 2 already! She's getting big and is quite adept at working that cute face to get what she wants. She is definitely her mother's daughter. Of course, as happened the last time I saw her, Frannie fell to the floor and bumped her head. I'm getting the feeling that I may be a danger for her to be around. On Sunday, I was able to do lunch with Leigh. That was really nice as well. We had so much to catch up on that we ended up staying at the restaurant until after dark. Oh, for you DCers, the Thunder Grill at Union Station has good margaritas and key lime pie - but that's about it. You'll get much better food for the money at B. Smith's.

Other than your basic family stuff, this is all that has happened this past week. I'm looking forward to having Thursday off from work for the Inauguration. I honestly can't believe that my office is closing since we aren't in DC, but I ain't complainin'!! I'll honor this just as I honored MLK Jr. day - by sleeping late and 'having a dream'.

Week 2

The most exciting things that happened last week involve eating out. I think I've finally started putting on my winter weight, which shows my impeccable timing as the weather has been rather warm lately. The 5th was my sister-in-law's birthday - poor girl. I really feel bad for people who have birthdays close to Christmas....you know they get shafted on the gifts. So I went out of my way to make sure that DB and I got her something nice. After looking at many British import and gift websites (yep, she's from the other side of the pond) I decided that what she really could use is a little pampering. So I headed down to an excellent day spa in Old Town and got her a gift certificate for a full body massage. The spa is so nice and smells absolutely yummy. And I'm sure that, subconsciously, I'm hoping that she'll want someone to go with her (and I'm hoping that someone is me!!). I've only been there once when DB sent me for a Valentine's Day gift and it was wonderful!! He did really good that year. I think the selling point for me was when he said that this is the day spa where all the trophy wives go. Oh, how I aspire to be a trophy wife. Of course, when I told him of this aspiration, he was quick to dismiss it and dash all of my hopes. But I digress...

So in celebration of the birth of the woman that was swindled into marrying my brother - we went out to eat at a great little seafood restaurant in Cobb Island, MD. For those of you who don't know where this is - and I was one of you until this past Saturday - it's way, way, way down in southern MD - about a 1.5 hour drive from our house. Yeah, DB was thrilled about that drive. Luckily the food was really good and he was in a good mood. The kids did really well at the restaurant too. They both drew pictures - and I must say Kyle's was much better than Alexis', but she is only 1. DB and I had a poetry contest while there and the winner is still in dispute. FYI - we were not allowed to see the other's poem until we were finished - notice the similar themes. You decide the winner:

DB's Poem:

I sit here with a gun upon my head
(I can't remember this line but it went something like this - blah, blah, blah, shoot it)
But why make a mess on the wall
Just because Jenny pooted

My Poem:

I once knew a man named DaveBrown
Who thought he was as funny as a clown
But the only laughs that he got
Were while he was busy on the pot
Until he ate all the beans in town

We both think we're incredibly funny - luckily we share an immature sense of humor. Ok, here's to hoping this week is filled with adventure or you'll probably have to read more crappy poetry about flatulence.

Day 1

It's the first day of a new blog and what to say? No need in giving a long schpeel about 'who I am' since you all probably know way too much about me anyway. My new year's resolution is to try to keep up with this blog as a journal so that all of you can see how exciting it is to get old like me - ha ha!

Well, it's 2005. A new year - wonder what will change ... how about some silly predictions? I predict that I'll gain a foot of height but fail miserably at my dream of being a supermodel (damn sun damage) .... in an ironic turn of events, Jake will lose half his body weight and become a kitty centerfold .... DaveBrown will throw caution to the wind once he wins the lottery and quits his job to fulfill his dream of full time house boy .... a giant earthquake on the San Andreas will finally release California into the pacific, exciting the rest of the US .... Pfizer will introduce a new patch for alcoholics called Buzz Kill (it'll get rid of your tremors, but not the monkeys and the deluxe version will have a tracking chip for spouses/parents/employers) .... Scientists will discover the remains of Atlantis, only to be disappointed by the log rides and water slides .... The Earths' atmosphere will continue to warm from the greenhouse affect - but climatologists determine that the affects won't be great enough to deter the blue-hair winter migration to Florida for 5000 years .... and finally all my single girlfriends will find fabulous men but will run for the hills when they are the ones faced with commitment pressure.

Well, it's my first day back at work for the new year - I guess I should do something.